1 post tagged “express”
I'm thinking about suing Coles and Shell on the grounds of false advertising. What is so "express" about their combined fuel outlets anyhow? Wiktionary defines "express" as "Moving or operating quickly", and sure there are a couple of other interpretations but this is the implied meaning in this instance and I'm afraid they just don't measure up.
When was the last time you drove up, pumped your particular choice of fuel into your car, paid for it and then drove off in a reasonable amount of time. Oh yes, that’s right 2:02 am last Sunday, but what about in daylight hours? Seems nowadays it takes 10-15 minutes to refuel while paying an ever-increasing amount of your hard earned for the pleasure of doing so. This is a very long time especially when compared to formula 1 drivers who can have their fuel and all four tyres replaced in less than 10 seconds.
Are Coles entirely to blame for this? Well yes and no. They have caused the problem but they have been very much assisted by a group of people none of us belong to or even know, the general public. These guys are either ignorant of the fact that they are holding people up or are absolute arseholes that just don't care. The first activity of actually filling the tank is general undertaken without too much of a problem. It's quite simple really, get out of the car, open the filler cap, select the right pump from the bowser, place it in the hole, pump in the petrol, replace the pump on the bowser, then replace the fuel cap. It's from here on that it get's quite difficult for them. Upon entering the building to undertake the simple task of paying for their fuel they become sidetracked.
Wow, goodies. Potato crisps, cold drinks, chocolates, cigarettes, ice-cream, chewing gum, hot dogs (well maybe not hot dogs because I don't think I've ever seen anyone buy one), a whole variety of products full of either sugar, fat or other compounds that are usually not that good for you. Instead of going straight to the counter they spend an eternity choosing which products they might consume to help them contribute to our growing rate of obesity. (Have you ever noticed when driving or walking around cities that when you see an obese person it’s more likely than not that they will have some sugar drink or fast food in their hand**). I'd be surprised too if they weren't also paying a premium price for these pleasure foods compared to purchasing them at a normal Coles outlet. I can't understand this, as it's these same "working families" that are doing it so tough, struggling to pay their mortgages and that monthly bill for that "free" dial tone that they had to have and got suckered into downloading.
All this time, outside, I’ve been waiting in a queue still short of reaching that elusive fuel bowser. I selected the shortest queue, the bowser even being on the wrong side of my car, just to save time, but it is all in vain. I sit and wait wishing my little Hyundai had the horsepower to simply push the vacant cars ahead of me out of the way. Eventually the starving masses start their journey back to their vehicles. “At last” I think but then I notice the pace of these large animals. It’s slow, unbelievably slow. Has the average walking pace of Australians decreased with our ever-expanding waistlines? A recent study suggests that it has actually increased, but I for one am seeing evidence to the contrary.
After watching the local version of the elephant walk I finally get my turn to fill up. Then it’s in to pay where I join the long queue at the cash register. Everybody around me has extra items, all of which take time to be scanned into the cash register. Am I the only one just purchasing fuel? Is there something wrong with me? Am I immune to the advertising, the bright colours or the chance to partake of the fabulous flavours these products offer, or am I just too tight to buy this crap? I wait and even a glance at today’s headlines or the girlie magazines fails to relieve the boredom as I ever so slowly progress toward the counter. Hang on, the person in front of me has just come to buy these supplementary goods and hasn’t even purchased petrol. There should be a law against this sort of behaviour, especially when the real Coles is less than a five minute walk up the road. I pay and leave in disgust 12 minutes of my life wasted.
As I drive off I start to wonder, is it really worth 4c per litre discount to suffer all this?
** I'm sure some of you who know me or have seen my pot belly on my avatar are thinking "people in glass houses" etc but hey my belly is heriditory and while I might eat the occasional cake (not purchased at a coles express I might add) I don't as a habit eat or drink the other crap mentioned here!
